you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
