i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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