I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
