Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
