The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
