Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
