Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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