I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
