Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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