YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
