Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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