You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
