Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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