Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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