Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
