i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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