Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
