she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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