I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
