i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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