Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
