he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
