i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
