Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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