If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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