Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
