i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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