There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
