OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
