Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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