Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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