i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
