What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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