Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
