the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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