I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
