i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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