Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
