I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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