u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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