yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
