Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
