Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
