We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize