Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
