I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I lost the right to judge tonight
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
