Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
