Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
