I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
