Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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